It happens often, that in family life, parents decide to separate. A separation brings naturally many questions, even more when they are related to the custody of the children.

Thus, favoring an environment that emphasizes on well-being is essential to adapt as quickly and under the best possible conditions to this new rhythm of alternating custody. It is true that at the beginning, we don’t really know where to start, even if parents nowadays put the child’s well-being first.

So, make yourself a warm drink, sit comfortably and follow the guide to try to accompany you gently through these changes!

 

Sharing planning, 2 measures to be put in place: discussing and organizing.

 

Between work, nursery, shopping, homework and so on, we often tell ourselves that 24 hours in a day in not enough. Moreover, arranging for alternating custody does not make the situation any easier to manage. Indeed, the organization plays an essential role in helping to prevent unforeseen events, facilitates daily life and avoids last-minute inconveniences such as: “Who’s going to pick up Zoe?” or “What time should I take Lucas tomorrow?”. Even if it is not easy every day, it is important to talk. Things must be clear for both parents, it is necessary to avoid the unspoken or the retention of information.

Thanks to Coorganiz you can create a dynamic and interactive planning. Each person gets the right information at the right moment, what better way to plan, share and stay connected?

 

Communication exercise

 

In addition to your planning, you can count on external actors to help you organize your daily activities.  The nanny, the school teacher, the teachers of extracurricular activities… It is important to engage and cultivate good communication with them as they directly intervene in the lives of your children. These exchanges will allow you to establish a relationship of trust and perhaps even anticipate any unusual change about the child.

In addition, it is necessary to maintain a good dialogue between the two parents in order to privilege the spread and sharing of good information. Therefore, it would be desirable to copy all conversations and attend events together, especially those related to the child’s schooling such as school meetings or graduation.

 

Family council (even if separated)

 

In alternating custody, it is essential to encourage dialogue, conversation, especially in difficult situations or when it comes to making important decisions related to the child. Its attendance is also desirable, it is an exercise in pedagogy required to help and encourage good understanding, appeasement and the sharing of information. If it is well organized and supervised, the family council can become a powerful ally, as Sylvie, mother of a 9-year-old Julien, can testify:

“After our divorce, I often got calls from school to tell me that Julien was fighting with other students. So, I discussed with my ex-husband and we organized a family council, him, Julien and I. We talk about divorce, school, his classmates, his school results… We were delighted to see that Julien was very open to the discussion and that he had more than one question to ask. My ex-husband and I finally agreed that it would be interesting to repeat this exercise for every important decision or change in our child’s behavior.”

 

Zero argument zone.

 

Delimiting a zone dedicated to constructive discussions and open to debates with a ban on raising the tone, what do you think? Well, we consider that it’s a must-have in an alternating custody arrangement. Why? Because it will greatly facilitate your exchanges concerning the organization of your child’s life and thus, help you in the organization of your daily life. Please, note that no other subject than those directly related to children is possible. We focus solely on all of the child’s activities, events… of the child. Whether it’s field trips, school trips, on-call schedules or any other topic, once again, in direct connection with the child, everything becomes easier to talk about once grouped through an instant discussion, message or email. The most important thing is to know that in the case of a last-minute reshuffle or for any necessary information you will be able to talk about, organize or reorganize as quickly as possible.

 

Do not hesitate to consult also our articles on similar topics such as:

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